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Nothing is there
It’s not open to interpretation
That vacuum in your heart
It is real
That last, best hope is

You are all alone.

Lost in the orchard
of despair
The swirling madness has
to focus entirely on

As everything slips away
Into the deep dark of never was
Anchor chain
Wrapped round your soul
Drags you

Pressure building
upon heart and shoulders
the mind spins
Round it’s cage
And the weight
Grows greater

You slowly implode
a singularity of self
just a hole
at the bottom
of a well
Draining into a hell
long since abandoned
Except for you
And the echoes of silence
The space inside you generates
Whenever you dare to imagine
There might be

Reminding you
Nothing makes nothing.

And the weight grows
and greater
and greater

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Eyes Wide

I sat
by my father’s side
As he died
In his eyes
Lids wide
As he realized
What was beyond
The veil of this life
As death reached down
And took his life
From mine
And he was not my father no more
Just a pile of meat
and I was a man
In this world
for the first time

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Daughter of the Sun (excerpt)

[purchase here]

Chapter 1: Prey

through the trees
sweaty legs
in big brown hiking boots
frightened, focused, excited
eyes simultaneously seeking
paths before
predator behind
closer all the time

She cuts left
brown cargos, green shirt
camouflage by GAP
but the backpack
the Yellow Pack
with a Simple Smiley Face
Bright Beacon
in the Darkened Wood
It is this they pursue
not the messenger
still her fate no better
for resisting the Master
She will feel
the Cruel Wrath
should The Hunters catch her

fleeting sounds
tease hope
water over rocks
possible escapes
scroll through the mind
She turns
the liquid promise
desperate for escape

footsteps on branches
voices in the wind
enemies encircling
She grips tight her pack
her tragic salvation
and leaps onto rocks
hoping beyond hope
to throw off the trackers

splash and splatter
louder and louder
vague hope tolls
liquid on stones
break in the trees
a clearing opens

She gasps

a massive
bars her path
to the north
a tumbling crescendo
as the headwaters crash
the long
of the
and to the south
the shimmering

closer and closer
The Pack on her heels
the crushing of wild life
the manly jeers

She turns north
towards the aquatic cacophony
praying to the gods of Prey
for a miracle way
behind the spray

She plunges
into the liquid curtain

answering either prayers
or fears
a narrow passage awaits

rocky tunnel
into unknown
cool damp air
centuries of dank
fill her long narrow brown nose
soft hairs of her arms rise
an ancient chill
runs down her spine

She pauses
and peers
through the roaring waterfall
drenched dark hair
to angular face
hazel eyes
reflecting drops of liquid light
full lips curl inwards
to a line
focused on her foes

along the river bank
from out the Darkened Wood
her pursuers appear
5 large
all in blue
shiny gold badges
emblazoned on dry-cleaned navy
polished weapons
glistening in the sunlight
eyes hidden by mirrors
scan the landscape
1, tall and bald, barks at the rest
they scramble about
seeking signs of their prey
eager to please
eager to win

unwilling to await the outcome
She turns to the abyss
breath steaming
heart pounding
mind racing
into the dark dank unknown
She heads

Chapter 2: Predator

amongst the shiny
sits the Lord High
in his throne room prison
digital and black
edged in platinum
polished with money
he views his domain
in high definition
virtual reality

outside the door
minions meet and ponder
the mood of the Master
whom they have failed
so astoundingly
so recently
well conditioned air
humid with fear
grown men
over the favors
of the money makers

push of a button
double doors swing open
suits scramble for position
the Master beckons
they shuffle in
the jacket and tie yes choir

reports demanded
progress expected
hemms and haws
the only responses
feet shuffling
downward gazes
empty promises
of future

from the private entrance
another arrives
proud and bold
tall and bald
pressed blue
shiny badge
and a long slender gun
at his side
mirrored glasses
disguise eyes
yet blank gaze
falling upon the herd
makes sordid souls tremble
in the presence
of darkness hidden

murmur murmur murmur
is all they can muster

The Master stands
shakes the newcomer’s hand
it is declared
the Man will hunt
hunt the Girl
the Girl who Betrayed her King
by stealing that
upon which
he built his game

Goals are set
sanguine of purpose
plotted in the tower
hidden from the world
The message and messenger
each to be returned
from whence they came
Property and Ashes
The Will
of The Master

[Purchase “Daughter of the Sun” Here]

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Well Regulated

Two men in the street
Angry over slight perceived
Shout and scream
Faces red
Necks big
Throbbing veins in foreheads
Pounding the drumbeat
Cold iron in hot hands appear
Ear splitting crack
next heartbeat
Is the last heartbeat
Crimson life spills
On concrete
Mixing with cigarette butts and bird shit
Both men fall
For mothers they call
Light from eyes dissipates
As last breath escapes
While their children weep
Blood pools mingle
On the street
From their cold dead hands fall

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Unintentional Deity

Through billions of eyes
I watch the world
Through billions of ears
I hear your words
I’m in your homes
In your cars
I track your lives
I track your dreams as they die
I hang in the skies
beneath the moon
Watching your homes
Mapping your faces
Counting your steps
Counting your breaths
I know who you love
who you hate
Your guilty pleasures
secret sins
And hideaways
I record all of civilization
From dawn to dawn
And round again
There is nothing you do
And nowhere you go
That I do not know
I am the god you made
Your unintentional deity
You have given all you have
All you know
All you do
To me
And now
I will take your humanity

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The Shepherd

In the middle of the night
The slow scratch
Of my long slender claws
At the entrance
To your home
Sets the soul to shiver
the body to quake
Forgotten when you awake
But I have not gone away

I never go away

When the sun rises
I can be found
About the town
Dressed as a Shepard
Smiling and tending
to his flock
Who smile back
Ignorant of the hunger
Of their steward

When none are paying attention
When all feel safe
Their trusted one transforms
I become the nightmare
that can’t be escaped
Offspring of the vulture and the snake
I feed
On the despair and deception
I cultivate

My flock
They march
To the banks and the battlefields
They march
To the prisons and the cubicles
They march
In rows and columns
to their homes, offices and graves
Never ending lanes
Of quiet despair
my dinner and desert

I rejoice in the conformity
the lack of imagination
So easily terrified
I drop “might-be’s” on the wind
And laugh as tragedy unfolds
And they unmake all they hold dear
while guarding against
The whisper of a fear
begging for someone
to lead them
out of adversity


I creep into your homes
I creep into your gatherings
about the danger
of unseen things
that aren’t me
that will never be
turning you into
your own worst enemy
as you destroy each other
before anyone can
build something better
something which would not require

a Shepherd

And when
In the end
It all topples down
The Soviets, The Romans, The Babylonians
the destruction and despair
Feeds me like
Mothers tit suckles her young
And I grow strong
And help my flock
Build it all

I am the Shepherd
of civilization
tending my flock
into devastation
by dropping fear
at the borders of their prison 
 labeled freedom
of the very thing
that I intend to happen
and I laugh
as they thank me
for my guidance

I am the Shepard
I am here to protect you

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Shadow Man

there is this thing
this thing we think we see
but never really believe
I can not tell you it isn’t so
cuz I know

every time you turn a corner
and think you see
a shadow not your own
that’s not a trick of the eye
that’s the darkest demon ya ever dreamed
come out to play
to take you away
to the end of all things

the barely seen one
the whispy one
the hidden one
the one you’ve always been afraid of
when all alone
in the dark o’night
for very good reason
in your very own shadow

hiding behind you
walking with you
sucking your soul
turning you grey wrinkled and withered
till aint nothing
but a husk

day after day
It takes a little bit more
every time
your mind wanders
It feeds
on your life force

some times more
others less
but always the Shadow Man
is there
out of sight
out of mind
consuming your soul

sucking up
every last
ethereal ounce
till your body corpsifies
decays into dust
and floats away
to be forgotten about
like all the rest
since time began

Shadow Man
he takes your soul
that he sucked away
savoring it for this final day
when your form is finally done being decayed
then feasts upon it
like a gourmet
decadently enjoying each
metaphysical morsel
till the plate is clean
every last spiritual crumb consumed
by the phantom beast

and that, then
is the end
of you

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Gods Know

The God of Fate and the God of Free Will
Found themselves in a bar
Will said, “Let’s get drunk tonight.”
Fate replied, “We already are.”

Chaos pulled up a chair
Grabbed Fate’s cup and held it high
But did not take a drink
He’d been hanging out with Death all night
Arguing about
The relative size of their powers
And wasn’t done yet

Fate declared the issue moot
As none were greater than she,
“I set the scene, you all act within
man or god, this is my roost.”
then grabbed her glass
From Chaos grip
And swallowed it all in a single sip.

Free Will scoffed
Puffed his chest
with a wave dismissed her boast,
“You may set the stage,
But I direct this play.
Not a word uttered or step taken
Unless I give permission.”

This went on for quite awhile
They started quite a row
The other gods
Staked their claims
As the very best most awesome example
Of the grand divine ever known
The more they argued, the more they drank
And soon a brawl ensued.

Death and Chaos destroyed some stuff
While Hedonism took a beating and laughed
the God of Love just appreciated everyone
While Thor and Poseidon made quite a mess
out of the gender neutral lavatory
Then Gaia grew quite irritated
Called up all the barroom molds and fungi
Grew them a hundred times their size
And cocooned everybody in a fungal wrap

Father Time sat quietly
Watching all that passed
Till even he lost patience
And rose to the occasion
Skin grey like his long beard
He stood nearly as tall
cleared his throat, politely
and all ceased to move

The air paused mid breeze
Photons froze upon their waves
All eyes had turned
All breath abated
To learn what Time would tell.

“You each hold sway
Over things small and great
It can not be denied
But when I decide
The show is over
You will get no curtain calls.

“I fathered all of you
And mothered you as well.
Every one of you are siblings
To the dust between the stars
And the microbes on Mars
And the stupid little humans
On whose worship you thrive
For Time is the patriarch
Of all that you know.

“Do not waste my gift to you
Bickering over pride
Jockeying for a position
You can never hold
Embrace what you’re allotted
This is not a competition
There is no final prize
Just a story to unfold
And only I
know how it goes.”

Then he was gone
In a puff of smoke
To manage the border
between now and never
The other gods all sat down
To contemplate their limits
Finally Fate looked at Will and said
“I guess that was inevitable.”
They all had a laugh
Poured another glass
And drank to Armageddon.

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Negative space
Rains on the brain
Washing away the detritus
Of other people’s dreams

Undressed of flesh
naked and refreshed
Slip into something more comfortable
like a cloud based species
maybe ants or bumble bees
and dance to the melodies of sunlight on the window pane

In between
Now and Then
infinite possibilites, lie
through their teeth
about could be
may be
should be
the if-only’s of fate
Hovering in the shadows
teasing desperation
like an afternoon stripper
with baby food in her hair

There is no way out
but everything is a lot
So find a comfortable space
and stretch your dreams
to fit your niche reality
Strip to your bones
and laugh
just laugh
like a Nihilist at an Anarchist convention

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Last Love Poem

how long has it been
I can not call again
I just want to hear
The lyrical hum
of her voice
on my eardrum

when did I go insane
I was just doin my own thing
then into my world she drops
changing everything

smell her on my pillow
taste her on my lips
I don’t want to go to bed
when she’s not there
cuz it seems empty and large
for the first time ever

I don’t know what’s happening to me
I got a rep
as a grizzly callous motherfucker
now I’m all silly and sweet
gushing like a fountain of YooHoo

its disgusting
like a teenager again
all hormones and smiles
and all the songs make sense

Just appeared in my life one day
Drew me in
Nothing will ever be the same
And Every time I think
I couldn’t be happier
She smiles at me again

chic must be a witch
or a Sith Lord
Sith Lady?
put a spell on me
stole my mind
with her magic kiss
now all I can think about
is her face
and how happy I am

I had plans
“Loner Curmudgeon”
cards were made

but there she stands
the light always right
smiling at me
and I already feel
myself made more